December 21, 2019
Most of my life I’ve followed my instincts and heart rather than listen to other people or even my own conscience. I’ve had a sense, especially when I was introduced to the mental health care system and when I was kicked out of the education system, that people were mostly speaking nonsense and teaching nonsense. It’s sort of been a mission of mine to find out what is the truth and what are abstract ideas presented as the truth. There are so many contradictory messages being passed around and it’s hard to make sense of how to live when so much information programmed into my mind never adds up to what I know to be true for me. This is all I’ve figured out so far: People create their own reality and there’s usually an inner conflict within people not between right and wrong good and evil or love and hate it’s between truth and fiction. The truth results in love peace harmony and connection whereas lies deception misconception and what is not real results in fear pain suffering and separation. From now on I’m basing the rest of my life without the belief system I used to rely on because the narrative running through my life story doesn’t represent anything that is true anymore. I’m so hesitant to make a move knowing this because I relied so heavily on the self images of myself to know how to act think feel and make decisions. Realizing that I’m the author, director and the main character in my reality puts some pressure on me to live with integrity authenticity and a new reality. I can stop searching for the truth now and just live knowing that I’ve known all along I was just misled by all the lies I believed in. I’m not afraid of making anymore mistakes because there’s no such thing. That’s a word made up by people to teach children what their parents, teachers and authorities don’t want them to do or help them correct their behaviour to increase their competency. I encourage you not to believe anything I’ve been trying to convey because this is my reality and dream and my thoughts and words. If it resonates then maybe it’s true for you too. I like to think I’m learning a lot this year about self mastery and the art of living and I hope I can contribute to society, my community, family and friends everything I can share that might help others. This concept had helped inspire me to have a vision of my future that feels really exciting and promising. It encourages me to keep moving forward and without feeling as though there’s always a void in my life or chasing the image of perfection so when I get there I can relax and enjoy life. I am perfect and whole and have much to offer the world and my children. I believe everyone is. I have enough and always will, I can relax and enjoy every minute of my life.